This weeks Blog post is based on practicing universal loving kindness and integral assessment. Universal loving kindness is where we learn to hear, see, acknowledge, be present with and feel another by offering our open heartedness, sensitivity, generousity,a nd emotional intimacy and extending these capacitites beyond just our close group of loved ones, to that of all human kind (Dacher, 2006).
Integral assessment involves looking at our current circumstances, identifying aspects of our life that require attention and determine specific changes we would like to address (Dacher, 2006).
While meditating on loving kindness I found that I was questioning myself as to whether I really felt kindness towards others. From our readings, I learned that we cannot genuiningly be kind to others if we cannot be kind to ourselves. I have a very difficult time being kind to myself. Since I am, is my kindness towards others not geniune? While assessing myself, the specific change I would like to concentrate on the most would be in the area of being kinder to myself. I find I sacrifice much of myself, when it is not really necessary. I find I envy people who take time for themselves, and I want to be that person.
Jen
Hi Jen,
ReplyDeleteI too have struggled for some time now with not showing myself the loving-kindness that I show others. I feel I can understand where you are coming from, because I too took pause with information from our reading regarding that we cannot be genuinely kind to others if we are not kind to ourselves. However, after contemplating and rereading this information, Dacher (2006) does state, “in order to show loving-kindness to others, we must begin by showing it to ourselves” (p. 51). However, he goes on to explain, “We cannot give to others what does not yet exist within ourselves” (Dacher, 2006, p.51). Therefore, Jen, I do believe that our loving- kindness is genuine; I believe it is in us. I know that I do know you personally or your situation or circumstances, but in my case, as I have been evaluating myself, I have been able to recognize some areas of where this behavior comes and why, and I am working on healing these areas. Nevertheless, I do believe that because I have loving-kindness in me, I am able to genuinely give it to others. Having said that, I do believe that when we are not showing loving-kindness to ourselves we are giving from a “borrowed source” so to speak, in that we take from other areas of self, which can result in a negative impact on our overall health.
Continue to work on showing yourself the loving-kindness you deserve and soon you will be able to share even more with others, without feeling envious of those who take time for themselves.
I wish you all the best!
Warm regards,
~Bridgett
Dacher, E. (2006). Integral health: The path to
human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA:
Basic Health Publications, Inc.
Hello there Jen, I hope that your practice of loving-kindness and locate the necessary time to yourself like we all should allow from time to time. You know Jen, I like how you stated “I learned that we cannot genuinely be kind to others if we cannot be kind ourselves”(Jennifer, 2012). You have also mention that you are having a difficult time being kind to yourself; if I was going through that stage I would look a little deeper into my core values, which are made up of the foundation of ones’ actions throughout life.
ReplyDelete*Lee~
HI Jen, I am right there with you. I hear a lot of negative self talk lately too. However, I don't think I have been showing loving kindness to others either. Go easy on yourself. "Each day is a new day, without any mistakes" that's from Anne of Green Gables, one of my favorite childhood books. I have never forgotten that. Maybe that should be our mantra.
ReplyDeleteBe well, Sarajane